"The pains, envy, fights, rivalry" – Nigerian man shares his experience growing up in a polygamous family of 20 children; advises women not to accept polygamy

A Nigerian man, Sam Odeg has shared his traumatic experience growing up in a polygamous family.   Sam, who recently welcomed his first child with his wife, also advised women not to be pressured into accepting polygamy.  According to him, his father, a palmwine tapper, married three wives and had 20 children.   Sam said growing up in such an environment was unpleasant, adding that there was envy, rivalry, quarrels among the wives and children.  “No woman should ever accept POLYGAMY, irrespective of what the “Let’s go back to our roots” folks are saying,” he wrote. “I am a product of a polygamous home. I have a first hand experience. I know what it feels like. The pains! The agonies! The tears! The sighs! The fights! The quarrels! What about the heated quarrels among the co-wives? Oh! You think it was all that easy? Mba kwa ooo. You see that picture below? That was my stepbrother and myself years ago doing bricklaying jobs. Polygamy forced almost all of us to start fending for ourselves at young ages. We can’t help it. We just must do it because the little money our father had and he was supposed to use and take care of just one woman and the few children born for him, he had to share it among three wives who in total birthed 20 children for him. To worsen the situation, he was just a palmwine tapper. What much could he do with that low job in taking care of three wives and 20 children? So you see, at a young age, we already learned how to cater for our needs because he (our father) wasn’t providing enough. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t have it all.  Yes, the 20 of us love one another, (or maybe everyone is trying to love everyone) but the gospel truth is IT’S NOT ALL EASY. There is competition! There is rivalry! There is envy! At some point and subconsciously, everyone wants to outdo the others. Everybody wants to do better than the others. If one of the co-wives’ children achieves a great feat, the other half-siblings would wish they were the ones that made those achievements. I am saying this again and again, it was full of COMPETITION. At first it wasn’t done intentionally. But as time goes on, that competition and rivalry attitude started to gain roots in everyone’s subconscious mind. I was able to break out from that spirit of competition and rivalry after I gave my life to CHRIST. To GOD ALONE BE ALL THE GLORY. But then, even before I repented and totally recommitted my life to CHRIST, and after everything I saw in our house, I vowed never to marry more than one wife. “My children will never have step siblings.” I told myself That is and will remain my stand! Well, any woman who wishes her husband to marry a second wife is at liberty to do so. But no woman should speak ill of other women who don’t want it. And no man should ever force a woman to accept POLYGAMY. I am saying this in the Name of the LORD JESUS CHRIST! If you feel as a man, you are a polygamist, the moment you meet the woman you want to marry as a wife, discuss it with her. Let her know from the onset. Don’t force her to accept it.  Even rich men who marry more than one wife are not finding it easy. The wealth is there, yes, but if they would tell the truth, they’ll tell you that they’re also getting it hot somehow. Finally, Men are not polygamous in nature. If you want it, it’s all on you. Don’t spread it on all men. Thank you and God bless thee.   The post “The pains, envy, fights, rivalry” – Nigerian man shares his experience growing up in a polygamous family of 20 children; advises women not to accept polygamy appeared first on Linda Ikeji Blog.